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Mean Machine Reviews

Holds its ground as a mid-budget Hollywood knockoff.

Full Review | Original Score: 2.5/4 | Jul 20, 2002

A likably energetic star vehicle for English sports god Vinnie Jones.

Full Review | Original Score: 3.5/4 | Mar 14, 2002

Another incomprehensible trash explosion from the Guy Ritchie school of cinematic slugfests.

Full Review | Mar 13, 2002

It's mildly entertaining, especially if you find comfort in familiarity. But it's hardly a necessary enterprise.

Full Review | Original Score: B | Mar 9, 2002

Dramatically lackluster.

Full Review | Original Score: 1.5/5 | Mar 8, 2002

For most American audiences, the film just won't work.

Full Review | Original Score: 1.5/5 | Mar 8, 2002

A fairly enjoyable mixture of Longest Yard ... and the 1999 Guy Ritchie caper Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.

Full Review | Original Score: 2.5/4 | Mar 8, 2002

... a lot of fun.

Full Review | Mar 4, 2002

You realize that not only is Vinnie Jones no Burt Reynolds ... but, as a source of structured cinematic mayhem anyway, soccer is no football.

Full Review | Original Score: 2/4 | Mar 1, 2002

The humor is hinged on the belief that knees in the crotch, elbows in the face and spit in the eye are inherently funny.

Full Review | Original Score: 2/4 | Mar 1, 2002

No movement, no yuks, not much of anything.

Full Review | Original Score: 1.5/4 | Mar 1, 2002

The formula is familiar but enjoyable.

Full Review | Original Score: 3/4 | Mar 1, 2002

Earnest yet curiously tepid and choppy recycling in which predictability is the only winner.

Full Review | Original Score: 2/4 | Mar 1, 2002

Jones helps breathe some life into the insubstantial plot, but even he is overwhelmed by predictability.

Full Review | Original Score: C | Feb 28, 2002

The only thing that could possibly make them less interesting than they already are is for them to get full montied into a scrappy, jovial team.

Full Review | Original Score: C- | Feb 28, 2002

Circumscribed on one side by its American precursor and on the other by the Ritchie style that Skolnick slavishly imitates.

Full Review | Feb 27, 2002

The most needless remake since Rollerball.

Full Review | Original Score: 2/4 | Feb 23, 2002

Mean Machine's tale of a disgraced soccer star who takes charge of a prison team benefits from solid pacing and acting.

Full Review | Original Score: 3.5/5 | Feb 23, 2002

Mean Machine never finds a groove.

Full Review | Original Score: 2.5/5 | Feb 22, 2002

A minor-league soccer remake of The Longest Yard.

Full Review | Feb 19, 2002

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